Monday, December 30, 2013

My Favorite Chapter Written in 2013

So as I'm reading all the excellent posts about the best books of 2013, it's got me thinking about my most favorite chapter I've written this year. After a lot of thought, I've decided CHAPTER 4 from the novella, ROCK MY WORLD is my favorite and I want to share it with you all. This chapter shows just how far RIFF/ZACH has really come since we'd met him in the first book, ROCK THE HEART. He went from a womanizing man-whore to a man with a purpose and this chapter shows this so well. I think I'll always have a soft spot for Riff's Oreo-lovin' ass. He's a very special guy. Thank you guys so much for making 2013 kick-ass for me and my guys in Black Falcon.


Chapter 4

Seven hundred and thirty-seven messages? Holy fuck. That’s what I get for not keeping up with this fan site. This is going to take me a month to sort through. I lean back on the brown leather sofa and close my eyes, completely overwhelmed with the amount of work to do. I’m tempted to say fuck it and take a nap instead, but I know that’s not fair to the fans. This is their outlet for their passion about my work. How can I ignore that?
I take a deep breath, grab a snack pack of Oreos from my bag and then get to work. It’s a painstakingly long process, but to see their giddy responses when they realize I’ve replied personally make it all worth it. Before Aubrey, this was the place I came to feel love. My fans poured it out to me unconditionally and I soaked it up. That’s actually why I started bagging so many groupies. There’s nothing like being someone’s everything.
“You got a minute, son?” I glance up from the computer screen to find the Judge leaning against the door frame into this impressive den. “There’s something I would like to discuss with you.”
I glance down at the clock on my computer. Damn. I’ve been answering messages for an hour and a half and didn’t even realize it. Aubrey should be back soon, but I wonder why her father wants to talk to me without her present.
Fuck. This can’t be a good sign.
I swallow hard. “Sure.”
I stand and follow Judge down a short hall into an office. There’s a very classic look in here, with chocolate walls, cherry bookcases and a matching desk. There’s even a bottle of Scotch, accompanied by four glasses, sitting on a side table.
The Judge’s eyes follow my line of sight. “You want a drink?”
This is probably some sort of test on his part. If I accept the drink, he’ll automatically think I’m a partying alcoholic, but if I refuse, he’ll think I’m lying.
“Sure,” I answer, but don’t plan on drinking the entire thing.
He walks over and removes the glass cork from the Scotch, pouring two glasses half-full. After handing me a glass, he walks around his desk and sits in the high-back chair. His eyes study me intently as we sit in silence, staring at one another.
Judge sits the glass on his desk and leans forward in his chair. “I’m not a man to beat around the bush about things, Zach. I’m very direct, and I don’t keep what I want secret. If more people were like me, the world would be a better place. We would all know where we stand with one another.”
This sounds like the intro to a speech about him not liking me very much. Instead of starting an argument with the father of the woman I love, I simply nod my head like I’m in total agreement. I could be wrong about him, after all. I barely know the man. “I like directness.”
“Good, because I’m about to lay it all out for you.”
Oh fuck.
“Why are you dating my daughter?”
That’s an easy answer. “Because I love her.” There’s no waiver whatsoever in my voice as I speak my truth.
He stares at me a long moment before he continues. “I can see that you believe that, but I know your type—the here today and gone tomorrow guys. I have to be honest with you, Zach. I don’t want that for my little girl. She’s too good for that. She deserves a man that’s stable and isn’t going anywhere.”
I flinch, but understand his reservations. My past isn’t a favorable one. “I can assure you when it comes to your daughter, sir, I’m not going anywhere.”
He sighs. “I was afraid you’d be stubborn about this. You leave me no choice.”
He slides a print out of some sort towards me. “What’s this?”
“Your sealed record.”
My eyes grow wide as they scan the record of my historical brushes with the law. “How did you get this?”
He frowns. “I’m a judge, son. I can get access to anything.”
“But, why do you have it? Aubrey already knows about all this. You telling her won’t stop her from being with me.”
He nods in agreement. “That’s true, but the press would have a field day with something like this, wouldn’t they? It’d be a shame if this was leaked somehow.”
I shoot up from my seat, sloshing my drink around before I slam the glass down on his desk. “Are you threatening me?”
His eyes grow wide for a second and I can tell for a split second I’ve rattled his tough exterior. “Calm down. This could be a threat, but I would prefer to think of it more as a bargaining tool.”
“What do you mean—a bargaining tool? What do you possibly stand to gain by smearing me across the press?”
“My daughter.”
I shake my head. “She wouldn’t leave me over that.”
“No, probably not. My daughter is fiercely loyal—gets that from me, so she’ll stick by your side. That’s why you’re going to leave her.”
“No! There’s no way in hell I’m going to leave her. She’ll understand.”
“She may, but I took the liberty of pulling the other band members’ histories as well. Trip Douglas appears to have some dirty secrets too. I don’t think Trip would appreciate his secrets being shared with the media, or being made public. If you don’t walk away from Aubrey, then you’re going to force my hand. I’ll tear your band apart.”
My pulse races under my skin, causing my hands to shake. Was I really such a bastard this man would ruin the lives of other people to keep me away from his daughter? Can’t he see I’m a changed man? I fucking worship the ground Aubrey walks on. I’d never hurt her. Why would he try to stop a love so pure?
“Why? Why would you do this? I told you I love her. Isn’t that enough?”
“No. It’s not. I want her with a man who I know will always take care of her. I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t want to leave this earth with the fate of my daughter in the hands of some young punk who’ll ruin her life at some point.”
“I won’t do that. I have more than enough money to give her an even better lifestyle than this place if she wants it!”
“For now you do. What happens in ten years from now when your band breaks up and the money stops? What then? You going to drag her down with you?”
His words feel like a fucking smack to the face. He’s right. I have no other skills. None. Music is everything to me. I’ll never stop doing it, even if I don’t make another penny for it. It’s in my blood. I can’t give it up.
The other thing that kills me is the fact that he’s right. While Black Falcon is on top of the fucking world right now, I know that won’t last forever. There’s always another fame-hungry band ready to out-rock you and steal your fans. God knows we’ve taken enough breaks and cancelled enough shows to leave half our fans pissed off. What happens when I can no longer give Aubrey the life she deserves?
“I’m going to take your silence as confirmation that it’s sinking in? You and I both know she’s not the girl for you. She needs to be with someone like Brady—a guy with his head on straight, and a solid future. You shouldn’t be selfish and stop that from happening for her.”
I pull my eyes up from the floor and stare at him. I have no doubt he’d smear both me and Trip to the press if given a chance. While we know about each others pasts and have moved on, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world will.
I sink my head into my hands. As much as I love Aubrey, I don’t want to be the one to hurt her someday. I don’t want her to resent me. She deserves the best life she can possibly have—the nice house, a husband home every night, kids.
God. Kids.
The last part stings the most. I’ve never let the fact that I can’t have kids bother me before, but knowing I can never give her something like that fucking kills me.
The thought of Aubrey pregnant, with a soft glow, smiling as she carries my baby inside her taunts me like a nightmare—one that, no matter how much money I have, will never be fixed.
I sigh, knowing that deep-down I’m still a fucked-up loser who doesn’t deserve my red-headed goddess. “What do you want me to do?”
“I want you out of her life. For good.”
“I can’t just leave her here. She’d expect an explanation, and I don’t want her to know what an evil dick you are. It would ruin her whole perception of you.”
He laughs bitterly. “Very well. Finish out the weekend here, and on Monday I want you on the first plane out of Texas and forget she doesn’t exist.”
My lips pull into a tight line. “I might be on a plane, but you’ll never make me forget her.”  
I don’t give him a chance to say anything else before I storm out of the room, grab my computer and head for the car. I can’t stay here one more second and listen to him tell me that he’s ripping the one thing I care about in this world away from me.
I toss my shit on the passenger seat and crank the car alive, nearly squealing the tires as I back pull out onto the street.
I rub my forehead vigorously as I come to a red light. “FUCK!”
My entire body shakes as it hits me that once again I’ve lost everything that’s important to me. The light turns green just as my eyes burn and tears stream down my face.
Anger wells inside me, and I pound the steering wheel with my hands. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
How is this happening? This isn’t what’s supposed to happen. It’s me and Aubrey against the world. I should go back and tell him to go ahead and tell the fucking world I killed my family. It wouldn’t matter if he did. I’m nothing without her anyway.
I slam on my breaks ready to turn around and the car behind me blares its horn, pulling me back to reality. I can’t go back. That would make me a selfish prick, just like the Judge says. I’d destroy Trip, probably royally fuck the band, and never allow Aubrey the chance to have a baby.  
I take a deep breath and mash the gas. I can’t be here anymore. If I can’t have her, I can’t see her. I won’t be able to play it off that everything is fine. She’ll know. She’ll see how fucked up I am.
I park the Fusion in the hotel lot and head to my room. I let myself in and stare at the rumpled sheets on the bed, picturing her naked body laying there, begging me to take her. My chest constricts and suddenly I find it hard to breathe. I crawl into bed and bunch the sheets up in my arms, burying my nose in the soft cotton as I inhale her scent.
“I’ll always fucking love you,” I whisper, doing my best to picture Aubrey in my arms.
The next thing I know someone’s pounding on the door. I shake my head and stare down at the sheets and pray the last few hours of my life was a fucking nightmare. I drag myself out of bed and yank the door open.
Aubrey’s face twists the moment she sees me. “Really, Zach? You couldn’t wait on me?”
I sigh and close the door behind her. I’m a fucking idiot to think I wouldn’t have to see her again. All her shit’s here. “I’m sorry alright. I was tried and you were taking forever.”
“I was only gone two and a half hours. I thought you were okay with waiting. If you didn’t want me to go, all you had to do was say so.” She crosses her arms over her chest and waits for me to apologize.
More than anything I want to. I want to tell her I’m sorry for thinking I could have her—that I’m worthy of her. But as I stare into her eyes, all I feel is shame for the hurt I know I’m going to cause her soon.
She frowns and closes the distance between us so she can touch my face. “What’s wrong?”
I glance over at the bed and lick the corner of my mouth, fighting the sting in my eyes. I can’t let her see me break. “Nothing. Just tired.”
“Did something happen while I was gone?” There’s a slight inflection in her voice. “The Judge trying to scare you off? Because if he is, don’t let him. No matter what it is—I won’t care. I love you.”
I open my mouth to tell her exactly what her father is trying to pull, but quickly close it. I don’t want to be the reason she never speaks to her family. God knows I wish I still had a family to be close to.
I close my eyes and lean my forehead against hers. Can I really give this up?
“Zach, you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong.”
Shit, this isn’t going well. I need a distraction. If I keep on thinking about this I’m going to drive myself insane.
Without warning I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest and kiss her like it’s the last time I’ll ever get to taste these lips. Her eyebrows rise for a second, but she quickly relaxes into me and grabs my neck. I hate keeping shit from her. I want to be honest, but I can’t. I have to keep this shit to myself and figure out how in the hell I can make all this go away and still keep her. I’m not ready to let this go, not by a long shot. 


A Black Falcon Christmas Scene (In Case You Missed It At Shh Mom's Reading)


Big Bertha has never been so fucking beautiful. I have to hand it to the girls, they’ve gone all out decorating for Christmas. For the first time in a long time, the rest of the guys and I will spend the holiday surrounded by a woman’s touch. I know I’ve said it before, but I really didn’t know how much I was missing until Lanie marched back into my life. Sitting here, on this bus, surrounded by all my boys from Black Falcon and Lanie—all is right with the fucking world.
I tighten my arms around Lanie and she sighs, showing me how content she is just being here with me. “I can’t wait to give you my gift,” I whisper in her ear as we watch Riff and Aubrey exchange presents.
She twists her neck and stares up at me with her big, green eyes. “I thought I already received my gift this morning.”
I chuckle and think about the sexual escapade we shared earlier where I gave her at least five orgasms. “That was just an appetizer for what you’ll be getting later tonight. I owe you a few more orgasms, but until then, I have a real gift for you.”
“Noel…” Lanie reaches up and runs her fingers down my scruffy jaw-line. “You are my real gift. You’re my everything.”
“God, I love you.” I tip her chin up and plant a soft kiss on her lips.
I know it probably makes me a pussy for admitting this, but when she says shit like that, my fucking heart melts. I love knowing that I’m her everything because she is my forever. “Come to the back of the bus with me.”
She nods and pushes herself up from my lap just as Trip glances up at us from the floor. “Where are you two going? None of us want to hear you guys fucking back there. It wouldn’t be fair to the rest of us.”
Holly smacks Trip’s chest. “Couth, Trip.”
“Ouch!” He rubs his hand over where she just smacked. “You hurt my tittie, sweetness.”
Holly shakes her head. “Just because they are going in the back doesn’t mean they’re getting it on.”
Trip shrugs. “I’ve been around this bus a little longer than you, babe. Trust me. If you see Noel and Lanie or Riff and Aubrey heading to the back, they’re about to fuck.” He points to Tyke. “Ask him. These walls are paper thin, and we can hear every ball slap and every fucking moan.”
Aubrey throws a cushion from the couch she and Riff share with Tyke and it smacks Trip in the face. “Gross! Holly, please do something with your man.”
Holly shrugs, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders. “I’m trying. Training takes time.”
Training?” Trip warps his arms around Holly’s waist and nudges her down on to the floor. “You wish. I’ll show you training.”
I smile and shake my head before turning to lead Lanie to the back bedroom. Laughter from the rest of the group follows behind us as we step inside the small room and shut the door.
Moonlight slips through the blinds and dances across Lanie, making it just light enough for me to make out every curve of her body and the sexy grin on her face.
“Care to explain why we need to be in private for you to give me a gift?” Lanie questions while threading her dainty fingers through mine. “We aren’t having sex while we have an audience, so I hope you don’t have that in mind.”
I give her my most wicked grin. “I bet I could make you change your mind if I wanted to. I know how pissed you’d be at me afterword, so I won’t torture you by turning you on. But, I do have something I want to give you—something that’s private between the two of us.” I reach in my pocket and pull out the necklace I had specially made for her. I take her hand and drop the charm with a picture of our dock on it in her palm first, followed by the silver chain. I close her fingers around it. “I feel like this sums up the story of us. Every time I see a dock, or a body of water I always feel a connection with you. Our love is steady like this dock in a body of uncertain water. No matter how much things change around us, I know we are solid.”
She unfolds her fingers and pulls the charm up to eye level for inspection. The moment the picture comes into view, tears glisten in her eyes before one falls free and slides down her cheek. “Noel…” she whispers my name and my heart thumps in my chest as I beat back all the emotions I feel so I don’t come undone. “It’s beautiful and so thoughtful. I’m almost embarrassed to give you my gift now. It will pale in comparison.”
I cup her face in my hands and wipe her tears with my thumbs. “Lanie, I could never ask for a greater gift than your love.”


Monday, December 2, 2013

New Series, Phenomenal X, Cover Reveal and HUGE Giveaway

Today is a very special day for me. I get to show you all the cover to a book I've been working on for quite some time now. Growing up in a house full of brothers, I became a wrestling fanatic at a very young age. I've been to live events more times than I care to admit, and now that I'm a mom I've gotten my five year-old addicted too. I know professional televised wrestling is a show, but it doesn't stop me from picturing these guys as modern day gladiators. I love the adrenaline that flows when a certain wrestler's theme music comes on, and they come out of that tunnel to the ring. The energy that one man in a crowd of thirty thousand can produce is crazy. If you're a fan of wrestling, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

So with all that being said, I felt like it was finally time to jump out of the rocker scene for a bit (don't worry I haven't forgotten about TYKE) and move into another story I'm equally passionate about. The story of Phenomenal X focuses on a young man who has had a VERY hard life. The only break he ever caught was getting noticed by a wrestling scout. If it wouldn't have been for that, there's no telling where this guy may have been today. While he's grateful for the new life he's been given, there's a terrible secret that weighs heavy on his soul. X, as I like to call him, has been very clear while telling me his life story to ensure I get it right. My heart breaks for his struggles and I can't wait for you guys to read all about him. I think you all are going to love him.

The female lead in this story, Anna, is a young woman that's dealing with her own problems. Not everyone's family is perfect, or even nice, and sometimes there's no other choice but to leave everyone you've ever loved behind and start anew. I've known people like Anna, so while writing her story I can relate to the fact that people like her really exist. She may just be my most favorite heroine yet.

Now that I've given you a little background on the two main characters of the novel, let me introduce you to their epic love story...PHENOMENAL X:


A Good Girl. A Notorious Bad-Boy. One Phenomenal Love.

From the mean streets of Detroit rises the newest superstar of professional wrestling, Xavier Cold, better known as Phenomenal X. His muscular physique makes men cower before him and woman lose their minds with desire.

Anna Cortez is fresh out of college and naive to the harsh realities of the real world. Tired of living under the thumb of her conservative family, she defies them when she accepts a job as the assistant to wrestling’s most notorious bad-boy. Phenomenal X has an animalistic nature that even good girl Anna finds hard to resist.

One night forced to share a bed in a sold-out hotel, lines blur between them and they quickly learn that one lustful night changes everything and neither one of them will ever be the same.

Add it to your GOODREADS!!!

  Release Date: TBA


 He smiles and a tingle erupts in my belly before spreading throughout the rest of my body. He’s got a great smile, and paired with those gorgeous blue eyes of his, that’s a deadly combination of sexiness. I imagine many women have lost their ever-lovin’ minds because of that smile. “What’s your name, beautiful?”

My heart does a double thud as I swallow hard and try to remember what my own name is—seems like that smile is causing me to go a little batty myself, plus this stunning man just called me beautiful.  “Anna Cortez.”
His eyes dance with amusement. “Cortez…” The way he rolls my name off his tongue sounds so sensual and naughty. I believe he’s trying to turn me on and make me squirm on purpose for turning down his stupid autograph. “Is that Spanish?”
“It is,” I answer simply. “It means courteous.”
“Ah, sassy and smart, I see,” X teases, or at least I think he’s joking—doesn’t seem like he’s pissed or anything because he’s still grinning. “It’s nice to meet you Anna Cortez.”
“Like wise, Mr….” Oh damn. Do I call him Mr. X, or do I refer to him as Mr. Cold like the flight attendant did? I hate being stuck in these awkward social situations. I never claimed to be a big people person.
Luckily for me, X fills in the gap. “You can call me Xavier.”
Things begin to click for me. “Is that where X comes from?”
He nods. “It does.”
I bite my bottom lip as I wonder out loud. “How about the Phenomenal part?”
His eyes flick down to my lips and then back up again. “I could tell you, but I think it’d be a whole lot more fun if I showed you where that portion of my name comes from.”